Home > Opinion > Apocalypse Not: Where’s the Rapture, Harold Camping?

Apocalypse Not: Where’s the Rapture, Harold Camping?

To quote a lyric from Pink Floyd’s The Wall, “Hello, Hello? Is there anybody in there?”
As predicted by those of us with more than two brain cells, the
Rapture did not arrive and the righteous (as if there are any) did not
vaporize and ascend into heaven, leaving the wicked behind to perish on a
burning earth.
Harold Camping, the prophetic (or is it pathetic?), wizened, decrepit dispensationalist whose mathematical findings concluded that billions of years on earth will somehow end on a Saturday… in Spring no less?!
Indeed, Camping (who looks more like a Bingo Caller than a prophet)
prophesied the world would end at precisely 6pm on Saturday, May
21st  (God is a real anal-retentive,  punctual supreme being) and the
“saved” (manipulated) would gradually ascend into the sky like
church-going projectiles. Meanwhile, the wicked among us would be left
to endure a series of earthquakes, floods, and war  until ultimately
perishing in October. Well, it’s a good thing we already have all those
things.  
Of course that momentous hour as now come and gone in Australia, New
Zealand, the Pacific Islands, and throughout East Asia, and there hasn’t
been a single report of any human being ascending into heaven.

Daniel Boerman tweeted: “I’m from New Zealand, it
is 6.06pm, the world has NOT ended. No earthquakes here, all waiting
for the Rapture can relax for now.”

 So either Mr. Camping’s math is more questionable than George W.
Bush’s WMD intelligence, or the denizens of that part of the
world simply aren’t worthy. But which one of those conclusions could it
possibly be??
As May 21 drew nearer, donations grew, allowing Family Radio to spend
millions of dollars on more than 5,000 billboards plastered with the
doomsday message. In 2009, the non for profit reported that it received $18.3 million in donations, and had assets of more than $104 million.
Surely the criminally gullible, weak-minded fools who handily gave Camping’s Family Radio Network — a network with $72-million or more in assets, according to reports
their hard-earned money on billboard advertisements and mass media in
order to warn the world population of the impending Rapture must be
livid over the Apocalypse Not. Then again, it’s safe to assume that
these miserably uninformed loons will make apologies for Camping and
rationalize some of the most preposterous reasons as to why it did not
happen.  Maybe God was too busy trying to find Barack Obama’s real birth
certificate? More likely, god is working with a team of attorneys on
suing scare-mongering charlatans like Harold Camping for slander and
libel.

So where is the King of Hype himself?

The 89-year-old California evangelical broadcaster and former civil
engineer behind the ludicrous pronouncement has gone completely silent.
The Oakland, California, headquarters of the network of 66 U.S.
stations, which has international affiliates and had posted billboards
around the country warning of a May 21 Judgment Day, were shuttered with
a sign in the door that read “This Office is Closed. Sorry we missed
you!” In fact, Camping, whose deep voice is frequently heard on his
radio network expounding the Bible, could not be reached immediately for
comment on Saturday.
Perhaps he’s loading all of his money into his rocket ship and
preparing to depart earth to hoodwink the gullible extra-terrestrials of
nearby Mars?
Mr. Camping is no stranger to making transparently false religious
pronouncements about the demise of the plant. In 1994, Harold Camping
first  made his patently false eschatological tendencies known by
predicting that the world would end Sept. 6, 1994.
Fortunately nothing happened, but more unfortunate is that Camping was
able to prepare to once again cause mass hysteria with his brimstone
 rhetoric and, worse yet, rob the ignorant masses of their riches. This
type of posturing, whether deliberate or inadvertent, is without a
shadow of the doubt the most atrocious type of manipulation. Mr. Camping
and his followers might want to consider ‘refudiating’ their
post-millenial dispensationalism and– dare I say– actually heed Jesus’
teachings and try and make the planet a better place by working to
prevent global warming and the plundering of the planet by sinister and
greedy oil tycoons. But in the mean time, it might be best if Camping
and company seek out the biggest rock they can find (since that’s
probably what they can afford) and collectively crawl under it. The
adults of the world have work to do and can no longer be bothered by
such fantastical frivolity.
Categories: Opinion
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